Dive in

Maya Angelou wrote, I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is be on my own side, be an advocate for myself and others like me. "Be on your side"—these words weighed in my mind as I faced the edge of a cliff. Don’t worry, I wasn’t intending on meeting my maker. My friends, mother, and I traveled to a military base 2 hours west of San Juan. Years before the U.S. privatized the land, locals basked at a hidden beach noted for its picturesque view from a swing hovering over the sea. Since the base became an airport, the beach and the roads leading to it were off-limits. After driving 2 hours, I wasn’t going to accept no for an answer. We pulled up to the secured gate and somehow convinced the guard to let us through, with the warning of being considered trespassers if caught roaming. We accepted the challenge.

The land he guarded and the beach around it were native land. There was no way I was going to let the military infringe on fulfilling a rite of passage. Sitting on the swing was kind of like screaming Jacinto, tirame la vaca! in el Pozo in Isabela or rolling down the hill of el Morro under a sea of kites. My cousins, who grew up on the island, shared with me these magical pastimes. Growing up, my mother wasn’t allowed to go to the beach as she grew up in a devout Christian household. Knowing my mom didn’t get many opportunities to travel as a kid, I made it my mission to drive her all around the island, becoming acquainted with paradise, where our hearts call home—Borikén.

That gloomy summer day, we approached the edge of the cliff and located the swing tied onto a tree. We began strategically planning how the hell we were going to get down there. When we arrived, I’m sure my friends did not believe the adventure would become this extreme. The couple several days prior had zip-lined across vast mountains. Apparently, cliff diving was where they toed the line. For a couple of seconds, I tried to convince my best friend Michell to jump off the cliff with me. Little did she know, I knew she wasn’t going to jump. I was buying time to build up the courage. After all, we came all this way for the plot.

My precious mother, forgetting she raised a 4x4 daughter, the kind who will scale down a mountain or scuba dive, shouted “Nooo” as she saw me leap into murky waters. I swam to the swing with haste, terrified of being greeted by wildlife roaming in the sea. For years, the notorious pictures sat in a hard drive, apparently more secure than a Swiss gold safe. For hours, I gazed at those pictures of the girl who feared very few things. Absorbing the world around her without being tainted by fear.

Freedom is a luxury we do not all keep. In these unprecedented times, I am reminded of the privilege of bravery. As a young and educated woman of color, like many, living my wildest dreams has been the fight of my life. I know that I am going to be caught when I jump. The universe got me. 🤘🏼

If you want freedom, you must fight for it. — Pedro Albizu Campos